The First Year

Our cake topper after one year

<3 Happy FIRST Anniversary my love <3 

I cannot believe that our first anniversary is already here and what a year we have shared together. Looking back on this past year, we have had many ups and downs and despite it all have made it to this great milestone. Although I knew we would never separate, I often wondered how we were going to make it through the very early months. I wondered if we would be living a life of only "pull you down and drag them out" fights. After a few months, things started to settle down and we started to adjust pretty well to one another and married life. It has not always been smooth sailing but we survived the first year and we are looking forward to many more years ahead. 

Adjustments

True to any new marriage, the last year has been one of many adjustments for both of us. We both have had to adjust to new roles as husband and wife and to a new living arrangement. Since I quit my job and moved, there were few more adjustments added to the already obvious ones brought on by marriage. Adjusting to a new town and making all new friends proved to be more difficult than in previous moves. Kris was the only one I knew and he returned to work a few weeks after we were married. I felt alone and did not know how I was going to meet new people. We searched for different Church groups in the various bulletins but going to check them out turned out to be harder than I expected. During this difficult time, my faith started to slip and I felt even more alone. Desperately wanting to get me out of my rut, Kris kept suggesting groups to check out. Few seemed interesting and my fear, anxiety, and loneliness grew. Eventually, I was able to check out a few groups. It took a little bit time and effort to find my niche in each group but soon I was making friends and felt right at home. I had found the Church family I had been looking for and I began to feel more at home in my new surroundings. 

Changes

Some of the words of advice that we received before we got married was that you cannot change someone. As I have said in a previous post, I believe this advice to be true. We cannot change our spouse. They have to want to change in order for any change to occur. They have to choose to make a change. Although we cannot change them, we can encourage them to adjust their behavior, attitude, or thinking that will help the marriage grow and thus becoming a stronger person. Kris has always stood behind me and made me want more and do more in life. He has helped me to be a better person. We both have made changes in how we think and react in certain situations not because the other asked but because we knew that the change would strengthen our marriage. When I can see how the changes have affected our marriage then I start to see myself becoming a better wife. Even though the change was difficult at first, we both made some changes that helped improve our marriage. 

Growth & Maturity

Over the last year we have had to make some really hard decisions. Decisions that neither of us have had to make when we were single. I never thought myself to be capable of making these kinds of decisions. But we had to make them. Whether we made the right or wrong decision, there was not going to be someone to catch us if we should fall. We only had each other. I cannot say that we have made all the right decisions but we have made the ones that have been best for us and we are doing pretty well. I have seen Kris over the last year grow as a husband. He has taken the role of husband to new levels. He has taken on new tasks with 100% commitment. I could not be more proud to be his wife. I am still learning how to be a better wife. I am still learning how to manage a household. There are days I think I am winning and still other days when I feel like a complete failure. But no matter what kind of day I am having, Kris is always there to remind me and encourage me. These have been some of the toughest growing pains but they have been worth the effort and fight.

With the first year of marriage behind us, we look ahead to the next year. We continue to strive to be better individuals and grow as a husband and wife. We hope we can continue to take our roles as husband and wife to new levels. We do not know what this next year will bring but we look forward to whatever lies ahead.

Here is to another year ahead my love!

Adjusting to Married Life

After 7 months of marriage there are still a few things that catch me off guard. I find myself still happily surprised by a few changes that happen only after you are married. Sometimes it is complete and utter shock yet other times it is a just a smile or a blush. It is a tingle at times. I have even gotten Goosebumps a time or two. So what are the things that make me feel this way?

Here is a list of a few:

1) Husband and wife

It still sounds strange when I hear Kris refer to me as his wife. Whether he is on the phone or I am standing right next to him, I find myself without words. It takes a moment or two to realize that it is ME he is calling his wife. I slight smile can be seen as he talks about his wife to his friends and family. I find myself it difficult to say “my husband” when I am talking to other people about Kris. The words still do not roll off my tongue so easily that I refer to him as just Kris at times. I still get chills when I refer to him as my husband.

My Dad introduced us using my maiden last name.

He said it was because I was the last Mendoza to get married

Sharing a kiss before our first dance

Our first dance - Endless Love Sung by my Uncle and Marie

A tender moment during our first dance

After nearly nine years together, I am still shocked that we are finally husband and wife. There were times that I did not think this moment would ever be. When I would visit him when we were engaged, it was so hard to leave him and go home to Orlando and now it is strange to be here by myself on a Sunday night when he goes to work. I find myself still checking that it is really him next to me when we go to bed at night and check again in the morning when I awake. As if he were to disappear in the night and return again in the morning. Each time I see him still there, you can see a big smile on my face from ear to ear.

2) The name

It is hard for me to find my name when looking at a list. I instinctively look for my maiden last name and read right over my own name wondering if I am on the list at all. I read the list over and over. I read my own name several times and it does not hit me that it is MY name. The name is vaguely familiar. The first name is right but I do not recognize the last name as being mine. After reading the name about 4 or 5 times, I realize the vaguely familiar name is MY name. The vaguely familiar last name is my NEW last name. Again, a smile on my face can be seen.

When I am waiting to be seen at the doctor’s office, it takes a moment to realize that my name is being called. I hear them call my name but I do not think that they are calling me. I am usually there with Kris and I think they perhaps are calling his name. But I am the one with the appointment. After a second or two, I realize that they are calling MY name.

Signing my name has been a bit difficult as well. I have to stop and pause a moment before completing the signature. I have to remind myself to sign a K rather than an M. The only thing I changed about my signature was the K instead of an M. If I do not pause then I will sign an M without a second thought. I have had to resign documents and rewrite checks after signing the wrong name.

3) The ring

When Kris and I were first engaged last year, I found myself checking if my ring was still there. I had to remind myself of that moment he asked me to be his wife. I had to verify that it was still real. After a while, I got used to having it on and stopped checking to see if it was still there. When it would come into my line of vision, I would be shocked to see it there. I would be reminded all over again of the moment he proposed and I said yes. I was reminded of the reality that someday soon we would be husband and wife. When that reality hit me, my heart would just skip a beat.

The same thing happened after we were married. I find myself not only checking my rings but checking to see if Kris still had his on, too. I check it every night before we go to bed. I check to make sure he has it on when he cuddles me good night. Without fail, it has been there. It is very rare that I see him take it off. He is quite comfortable wearing it. I am surprised, as he has never been big on any kind of jewelry with the exception of his Crucifix. Not only can a smile be seen on my face but my heart sings as well and I can rest knowing that he proudly wears his ring for all to see.

Proudly wearing our rings

Occasionally when I am driving I do not see my ring as my hand grips the steering wheel. I am driving along the highway, singing along to the songs playing from the radio, and as I turn my hand slightly my rings come into view, I am again shocked to see them there. The reality of being married sets in yet again, a truth that I have yet to grasp completely in only 7 months of marriage. For a moment, my heart skips a beat. Reality sets in that I am married now.

Sometimes when I drive I cannot see my rings...

...but just a slight turn and they come into view.

There are still many things that we both are adjusting to. There have been many changes in both of our lives and we are enjoying every minute together. We are still learning new things about each other despite being together for nearly nine years before getting married. We have our ups and downs but with each new experience we are both learning how to be better husband and wife.    

(P.S. Writing this post has made me smile, my heart skip a beat, sent shivers up my spine, and given me Goosebumps as I write and rewrite every detail)