Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The First Year

Our cake topper after one year

<3 Happy FIRST Anniversary my love <3 

I cannot believe that our first anniversary is already here and what a year we have shared together. Looking back on this past year, we have had many ups and downs and despite it all have made it to this great milestone. Although I knew we would never separate, I often wondered how we were going to make it through the very early months. I wondered if we would be living a life of only "pull you down and drag them out" fights. After a few months, things started to settle down and we started to adjust pretty well to one another and married life. It has not always been smooth sailing but we survived the first year and we are looking forward to many more years ahead. 

Adjustments

True to any new marriage, the last year has been one of many adjustments for both of us. We both have had to adjust to new roles as husband and wife and to a new living arrangement. Since I quit my job and moved, there were few more adjustments added to the already obvious ones brought on by marriage. Adjusting to a new town and making all new friends proved to be more difficult than in previous moves. Kris was the only one I knew and he returned to work a few weeks after we were married. I felt alone and did not know how I was going to meet new people. We searched for different Church groups in the various bulletins but going to check them out turned out to be harder than I expected. During this difficult time, my faith started to slip and I felt even more alone. Desperately wanting to get me out of my rut, Kris kept suggesting groups to check out. Few seemed interesting and my fear, anxiety, and loneliness grew. Eventually, I was able to check out a few groups. It took a little bit time and effort to find my niche in each group but soon I was making friends and felt right at home. I had found the Church family I had been looking for and I began to feel more at home in my new surroundings. 

Changes

Some of the words of advice that we received before we got married was that you cannot change someone. As I have said in a previous post, I believe this advice to be true. We cannot change our spouse. They have to want to change in order for any change to occur. They have to choose to make a change. Although we cannot change them, we can encourage them to adjust their behavior, attitude, or thinking that will help the marriage grow and thus becoming a stronger person. Kris has always stood behind me and made me want more and do more in life. He has helped me to be a better person. We both have made changes in how we think and react in certain situations not because the other asked but because we knew that the change would strengthen our marriage. When I can see how the changes have affected our marriage then I start to see myself becoming a better wife. Even though the change was difficult at first, we both made some changes that helped improve our marriage. 

Growth & Maturity

Over the last year we have had to make some really hard decisions. Decisions that neither of us have had to make when we were single. I never thought myself to be capable of making these kinds of decisions. But we had to make them. Whether we made the right or wrong decision, there was not going to be someone to catch us if we should fall. We only had each other. I cannot say that we have made all the right decisions but we have made the ones that have been best for us and we are doing pretty well. I have seen Kris over the last year grow as a husband. He has taken the role of husband to new levels. He has taken on new tasks with 100% commitment. I could not be more proud to be his wife. I am still learning how to be a better wife. I am still learning how to manage a household. There are days I think I am winning and still other days when I feel like a complete failure. But no matter what kind of day I am having, Kris is always there to remind me and encourage me. These have been some of the toughest growing pains but they have been worth the effort and fight.

With the first year of marriage behind us, we look ahead to the next year. We continue to strive to be better individuals and grow as a husband and wife. We hope we can continue to take our roles as husband and wife to new levels. We do not know what this next year will bring but we look forward to whatever lies ahead.

Here is to another year ahead my love!

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