Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know well the plans I have in mind for your welfare, not for woe, plans to give you a future full of hope."
This is a blog for family and friends to follow the adventures of our marriage along the way including our ups and downs and the lessons we have learned. I hope to inspire other young Catholic couples to raise Catholic families.
When I read the traditional gift for the first anniversary, I started to think about what kind of gift I could get for my husband to celebrate our first anniversary. Paper? What kind of meaningful paper gift can I get? Although I can write a great romantic and sentimental card, I did not want to get JUST a card as our first anniversary gift. I wanted to get something that would chronicle our first year and would be cherished. But paper? So with some extra thought we both came up with a couple of great gifts that we can cherish for many years to come.
Kris' gift: Jim Brickman tickets
Kris' original gift idea was an annual pass to one of the major theme parks. We are so fortunate to live within a couple of hours of the best theme parks. This seemed to be a great idea at first until we realized how hot it really gets in Florida. A pass good until the end of the year would have been okay if we purchased it earlier in the year when we could have used it while the weather was still cool. As the temperatures get hotter and hotter, the likelihood of using the pass in the next couple months was not very likely.
Jim Brickman in Concert at the Van Wezel
Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall
The back of the hall faces the bay
He still wanted to get tickets but now we were considering a show either locally or nearby. We have a couple of performing arts halls and forums within a couple of hours. We even have a local theatre nearby. We found a couple of shows of interest including a Jim Brickman concert at the local theatre the Saturday before our anniversary.
We got dressed up and headed down to the local theatre on Saturday evening hoping that tickets were still available. Lucky for us, there were still tickets available for the show. It was a perfect anniversary gift. Jim Brickman talked about celebrating his 15 year anniversary as a recording artist and performer this past Christmas. He talked about how it was much like a wedding anniversary. His music was soft and romantic. It was simply a perfect night.
Night Rain by Jim Brickman
The Gift by Jim Brickman
My gift: A Photo Journal
A photo journey of our the good times we have shared
After much thought, I finally decided on a photo journal for an anniversary gift. I knew it was not going to cost much money. I had all the materials (paper of course) in my scrapbooking supplies.I wanted it to make all from paper and by hand. I had some pictures from our first year of marriage as well as pictures from our early days of dating. I organized them into a small "album" which I made using black pages and a brown cover. I used letters and some stickers I had to decorate the album. I was a little worried that Kris would not find it sentimental but when I gave it to him and we looked at it together, he loved every picture and sharing the memories we have made together. We looked at it again while waiting for the concert to start. It was like taking a photo journey through our the last 10 years together. It was a great memory for both of us. He said a few times throughout the night how much he had loved the album and the memories contained in it. We have had fun just looking through it and remembering the good times we have shared.
The inside cover to start the journey
The end of the album but not our journey
The back of the album
We had a perfect weekend celebrating our first anniversary. We were able to celebrate with some family and friends who had been with us on the day we were married. We went back to the Church where were married and said a prayer or two for the year ahead. We even visited the Basilica of the National Shrine of Mary, Queen of the Universe, one of our most favorite places. On the actual day of our anniversary, we went to Mass together and then enjoyed a nice quiet breakfast. It was the perfect way to end our anniversary weekend and celebrate.
I cannot believe that our first anniversary is already here and what a year we have shared together. Looking back on this past year, we have had many ups and downs and despite it all have made it to this great milestone. Although I knew we would never separate, I often wondered how we were going to make it through the very early months. I wondered if we would be living a life of only "pull you down and drag them out" fights. After a few months, things started to settle down and we started to adjust pretty well to one another and married life. It has not always been smooth sailing but we survived the first year and we are looking forward to many more years ahead.
Adjustments
True to any new marriage, the last year has been one of many adjustments for both of us. We both have had to adjust to new roles as husband and wife and to a new living arrangement. Since I quit my job and moved, there were few more adjustments added to the already obvious ones brought on by marriage. Adjusting to a new town and making all new friends proved to be more difficult than in previous moves. Kris was the only one I knew and he returned to work a few weeks after we were married. I felt alone and did not know how I was going to meet new people. We searched for different Church groups in the various bulletins but going to check them out turned out to be harder than I expected. During this difficult time, my faith started to slip and I felt even more alone. Desperately wanting to get me out of my rut, Kris kept suggesting groups to check out. Few seemed interesting and my fear, anxiety, and loneliness grew. Eventually, I was able to check out a few groups. It took a little bit time and effort to find my niche in each group but soon I was making friends and felt right at home. I had found the Church family I had been looking for and I began to feel more at home in my new surroundings.
Changes
Some of the words of advice that we received before we got married was that you cannot change someone. As I have said in a previous post, I believe this advice to be true. We cannot change our spouse. They have to want to change in order for any change to occur. They have to choose to make a change. Although we cannot change them, we can encourage them to adjust their behavior, attitude, or thinking that will help the marriage grow and thus becoming a stronger person. Kris has always stood behind me and made me want more and do more in life. He has helped me to be a better person. We both have made changes in how we think and react in certain situations not because the other asked but because we knew that the change would strengthen our marriage. When I can see how the changes have affected our marriage then I start to see myself becoming a better wife. Even though the change was difficult at first, we both made some changes that helped improve our marriage.
Growth & Maturity
Over the last year we have had to make some really hard decisions. Decisions that neither of us have had to make when we were single. I never thought myself to be capable of making these kinds of decisions. But we had to make them. Whether we made the right or wrong decision, there was not going to be someone to catch us if we should fall. We only had each other. I cannot say that we have made all the right decisions but we have made the ones that have been best for us and we are doing pretty well. I have seen Kris over the last year grow as a husband. He has taken the role of husband to new levels. He has taken on new tasks with 100% commitment. I could not be more proud to be his wife. I am still learning how to be a better wife. I am still learning how to manage a household. There are days I think I am winning and still other days when I feel like a complete failure. But no matter what kind of day I am having, Kris is always there to remind me and encourage me. These have been some of the toughest growing pains but they have been worth the effort and fight.
With the first year of marriage behind us, we look ahead to the next year. We continue to strive to be better individuals and grow as a husband and wife. We hope we can continue to take our roles as husband and wife to new levels. We do not know what this next year will bring but we look forward to whatever lies ahead.
I am so sad to admit that I am behind on my book a month goal for this year. I was able to finish last year's book and another book in January but I have yet to finish February's book which was The Authentic Catholic Woman. I have been trying to finish Financial Peace Revisited by Dave Ramsey for our Financial Peace University class that we have been taking since January. Our class ends mid-April and I would like to finish reading it before then. If I do, then I may have to count this as my February book. I still hope to finish The Authentic Catholic Woman and count it toward March.
I have also added a couple other books to my list of interests. I received The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman from some friends as our paper first anniversary gift. I have heard so much about this book and have wanted to add it to my list of books. I have heard this book being talked about on Christian radio. Knowing and understanding our love language will help us understand each other in our marriage. I also heard Dr. Emerson Eggerichs on Dave Ramsey's radio program on Valentine's Day. He was talking about his book Love and Respect. I found so much of what he had to say about men and women and marriage to be true. I could see them happening in our marriage. Understanding some of these fundamental differences can help strengthen our marriage.
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
I have not had a chance to pick up my bonus book Heaven is for Real. I just could not picture myself picking up and finishing this book when I could not even finish the books I had planned on reading for this year. Perhaps when I am caught up I can go back and finish this book as my bonus book as well.
I am looking forward to some "me time" this Saturday where I hope to get much of this reading done. Perhaps I can get caught up in reading Financial Peace Revisited and finish The Authentic Catholic Woman. Financial Peace Revisited reads pretty fast since we are also taking the class. The Authentic Catholic Woman is a relatively short book but the material is deep and takes much thought. I think with some focus and determination I can get caught up on Financial Peace Revisited and finish The Authentic Catholic Woman. If not, then there is always next week during some of the terrible storms we have been having.
I have been told for some time by a close friend that I ought to start a marital blog to chronicle the lessons and experiences that we learn over the course in our marriage. She also suggested that I log (or blog even) the stories and God-incidences that eventually brought us to this point in our lives. She said those stories and memories would be lost if I did not record them. I knew she was right, but I certainly was not ready to start blogging about our marriage. The thought had crossed my mind several times but as a newlywed I did not think I had as much to share as other married couples who had been married for a much longer time. So I just kept putting it off although it was in the back of my mind the whole time. Perhaps it was not so much in the back of my mind but really in the forefront.
I think one of the biggest road blocks in starting our marital blog was a title or name for our blog. I wanted one that not only expressed who we were but told a story on its own. There is so much in a name or title. A name is how you identify or know someone. The name has to fit and has to catch your eye in order to get others to notice. As the idea for starting a marital blog lay in the back (or forefront even) of my mind, I began to try to think of a title for such blog. One did not come to me immediately so I just kept putting it off and telling myself eventually I would get around to starting a marital blog. In the meantime, I kept sharing and telling stories of our experience with friends and family so as to keep a record of what we had experienced.
Last night after sharing our blessing (see first post) with a friend, I finally got the courage start our marital blog. I knew I wanted to share the joy of our family gathering and how God had provided enough food and room for everyone in our small yet adequate home. The one thing I kept thinking about was a title. I wanted to start our marital blog but I did not want it to go without a title. I already had our first post written having sent it out as an email to share with friends but I did not have a title yet. I could not start our blog without one.
I thought for a moment about my favorite Scripture passage - Jeremiah 29:11. This passage has meant so much to me since I heard it when I was part of Singles for Christ. This passage has become my mantra. It finds it way to me by no coincidence but always by God incidence. Someone will share it with me or I will find it or see it somewhere when I least expect it. I think of it often when I am struggling. I remind myself that God has something planned for me. Something greater than where I am at that moment. He has a future full of hope planned for me. I have found my hope in this passage.
And that is when the title of my blog came to me last night. A Marriage Full of Hope. I know that God had this marriage planned for us. Even though it took us a long time to get here, He had this planned for us from the very beginning. He made us for one another. In the nine years we waited, He made us both ready for marriage. At times we both felt ready, but it was never at the same time. We were not on the same page. Perhaps the same chapter but not on the same page. We have been close but still never on the same page. God did an amazing work on both of and over time we became closer and closer. Eventually, we both realized that this marriage was our future. This marriage is our future full of hope that God had planned for both of us. This was the future God had planned all along. This is what I was seeking when I thought of my favorite passage.
This marriage is our future. This marriage is our hope.
