Verse 29: "Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all."
Sometimes I look back on certain events in our relationship and I think about what I was thinking and feeling at that time and compare it to what I have learned and what I know now. I like to call these blogs "In retrospect." It is a way of looking back at things with fresh news eyes and seeing how it lead up to where we are today.
One such event I have often pondered is the day Kris proposed to me. On May 29, 2009 at St. Peter's Church in Naples, Florida Kris proposed to me out in what used to be the grotto and Stations of the Cross. The wooded area where it was located back in 2001 when we first met was over grown. We could not walk through each station. The only ones that could still be seen were Stations 12 to 14. There was to be no surprise about his proposal. I knew it was coming. I set up the whole day except the words and how it was all going to go down. I left all the details up to Kris. So what I thought would be no surprises turned out to be the best surprise of my life.
Events leading up to the proposal
We knew relatively quickly after our re-new-ed relationship in March that this time we either were going to get married or we were completely done. I was not going to settle for our relationship being completely done. I was going to do what I could to make sure that we were going to be married when it was all said and done. Nine years was just too much time to put into a relationship to see it end that way much less not in marriage. I knew my love for him was deep and true and I was not going to lose it this time. I just had to know for sure that his love for me was just as deep and true.
It took no time at all for both of us to realize that our love for one another ran deep and true. We both could not deny how we felt any longer. We knew after a few short weeks that this for sure was going to culminate in an amazing marriage. We just had to make sure that both set of parents were supportive of our wishes and desires. We had already seen that from his Mom and Dad since I had visited him several times after we re-new-ed our relationship. I had a new found relationship with his parents and it was going smoothly. My parents knew we were together again but were not quite sure where we were heading this time around. They had known Kris for the past nine years but were not certain if our relationship was ever going to go anywhere. They already suspected our intentions this time to get married but we had not told them directly. They still had some doubt in their mind if we were really going to take this to the next level or just walk away completely.
We told my parents a few days before my birthday May 2009 of our intentions to marry. My Mom seemed very hesitant to give us the okay. We were not asking so much for approval as we both were adults old enough to make this decision on our own but we wanted them to be aware and to accept that after nine years we finally were ready for the next step. My Dad seemed to be relieved that finally there was someone who could take care of me and look after me if anything should happen to them. He was okay to finally let go of the strings. My Mom was just not so sure if we both really knew what this meant. We more than knew. We were more than ready. We assured my Mom that we both knew what we were getting into and were willing to accept whatever challenges the future had to throw us. Despite my Mom's initial hesitation, they both congratulated us and welcomed Kris into our family.
The Proposal
Things moved pretty fast after we told my parents of our intentions. We purchased the ring I had been admiring on my birthday. It took some time to have it sized but we picked it up from the jeweler just a few days later. I knew in a short time that I would officially get the ring and Kris and I would finally be engaged.
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| The ring in its box |
I was heading to Naples from Orlando for a work related conference for a weekend (May 29-31) just shortly after we picked up the ring from the jeweler. Kris was living in Bradenton which was not far from Naples. I had decided that it would be in Naples where we would get engaged. I wanted it to be at St. Peter's Church where we had attended Mass together when we first met in 2001. The rest of the details I left up to Kris to decide.
He planned a nice morning in Naples for our engagement. He came to Naples and picked me up at my sister's house where I was staying for the weekend. We drove out to Mass at St. Peter's Church. We were early for Mass so we sat in the car and listened to Christopher West talk about Theology of the Body - a teaching we both had grown to love and embrace as the foundation of our relationship. We held the ring in its box in both our hands. When it came time for Mass, we both headed toward the Church holding hands. We both knew what was soon about to happen. When got into the Church, we realized that there was no Mass being said at that time. We both were a little disheartened but instead spent time in Adoration at the Tabernacle in the chapel. It gave us both a chance to reflect. On our way back to the car, we ran into one of the priests. We asked him to kindly bless us and the ring. After finishing Christopher West's talk on Theology of the Body, we went out to the Stations of the Cross. There we found a bench in what remained of the grotto. We prayed the Stations of the Cross even though it was summer and Lent had long passed. Before we prayed, Kris read the reading from Proverbs on the ideal wife. I was amazed by the passage. I wondered if I ever could be such kind of wife. I wondered if I had what it took to be that kind of wife to Kris. The kind of wife I thought that he deserved. I prayed as he read the passage that I could be this kind of wife for him. I prayed that God would give me the strength and direction to be that wife. As we prayed the Stations, each prayer related somehow to marriage and the journey we were about to embark. It was as if God was giving me to answer and the tools needed to be that wife for Kris. After we finished praying the Stations, I sat on the rock under the cross. Kris knelt not on one knee but both knees and he used 3 verses from the passage he read to me to propose. He asked me if I would serve the poor with him. He asked me if I would laugh at the days to come with him. He asked me if I would be his good wife. I cried. He cried. Even now it makes me cry. He could not have said better words to me. He could not have planned the details better. I WAS surprised. The only answer I could give was a very emphatic yes. Yes I will be your good wife. After he proposed, we knelt before the cross and I asked the Lord Jesus to be the third person in this marriage. We asked him to be our spouse and be one with us. I know that on that day, May 29, 2009, he gave us his yes, too.
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| The ring with 3 diamonds |
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| Reenactment of the proposal |
So in retrospect, on that day I prayed to be that ideal wife for Kris. I prayed that I could have those qualities that he read to me from the book of Proverbs. I did not have the confidence to be that wife. But now looking back on that day, I realize that Kris did not read that passage to me so that I would have a model as to what kind of wife he wanted me to be but because he believed that I WAS already that kind of wife. He had found one worthy to be a wife. He had found his ideal wife. I am that worthy wife. I still struggle today (and I think I always will) to be that worthy wife. But I know that my husband believes that I already hold those qualities that make me a good wife. I am so blessed that my husband has the faith and confidence in me to be a good wife. I continue to pray that God gives me the strength to continue to be that good wife and the faith to know that I am.
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